I wrote this post for a good friend of mine. She had (yes, it’s a girl, but I’m not giving anything else away other than that) kindly informed me one day about how, at least once every month, she would experience uncontrolled feelings of sexual desire – not exactly the words she used, but that’s how I’d describe it. 🙂
As she is firmly convinced that sex is reserved for the sole purpose of consummating her marriage, she was wondering what her man could do for a girl like her without involving any actual physically intimate contact between them.
Interested already? Then keep reading on:
1) Fantasize together: How many of us have not had fantasies? Dreaming about life as the world’s richest person, about having entire closets full of designer clothing, about owning that awesome supercar, etc.
The same thing applies to sexual fantasies. Grow some balls and tell her what you secretly dream of doing to her in bed – or anywhere else, for that matter. Just use your imagination. Of course, be sure to be specific and fill in as many details as possible.
Creativity helps in this sense; you and her don’t have to be just you and her in your fantasies. Role-play a little. How about an exotic Arabian princess and her dashing savior, the Prince from far-off lands? Or two star-crossed lovers stranded on a Pacific island paradise? You get the idea.
2) Find out what makes her tick: Your woman is just as human as you are. She too has her own secret fantasies hidden away somewhere in that mind of hers.
Encourage her to tell you her deepest desires, ask her what she wishes to do with you. If she won’t say, don’t force her! She’ll reveal all to you in due time. Once she does start talking though, don’t interrupt her by saying anything! Let her do all the talking. Tell her to be as detailed as possible.
Once you know what gets her going, incorporate her ideas into your 1) and 3). Taking the time to get to know your woman does help strengthen the bond between the both of you, and in more ways than one!
3) Send her naughty messages: This helps when you’re in an LDR (long-distance relationship) or happen to be away from your woman at the time she needs sexual fulfillment. Dirty SMS / email messages (details, details, details!) to her definitely go a long way in helping her please herself. You could also combine this with method 4) below if you’re dry on ideas. However, make sure you’re not using your work email to do so, or worse still, sending it to the wrong person!
4) Read her erotic literature: It’s generally agreed that men are from Mars, women from Venus, more so when it comes to sex. While us men are easily turned-on by porn, most women do not enjoy it the way we do, i.e. porn either does not turn them on, or turns them off outright.
That is not to say these women are soulless machines. Women have always had fertile imaginations. Rather than getting her to watch that hot video you secretly enjoy between lectures, try providing her with erotic literature, also known as erotica.
If you can’t find books for her (try romance novels with the overly-muscular guy holding a well-endowed woman on the cover), there are a number of websites that supply decently-written erotica for free out there to cater for the many sexual desires of different women, so don’t be afraid to hunt for some in your free time for her.
5) Teach her to please herself: It’s amazing how many women either don’t know how to masturbate, or are convinced that it’s a sin / shameful / embarrassing / inappropriate / [insert-excuses-here] for women to play with themselves.
That’s as far from the truth as it gets. Men should not perceive a woman who masturbates as someone who is sexually promiscuous. Masturbation helps a woman develop an appreciation of her own body, especially in terms understanding her own sexual feelings and needs. Logically speaking, it is also a much safer way for a woman to please herself rather than resorting to picking some random guy off the street.
As your lady’s man, you should let your woman learn the joys of masturbation or, better still, encourage her along her journey of sexual awakening. Some ladies prefer to use their fingers and hands to stimulate themselves, others have no qualms about using objects (washed with antibacterial soap first), and others still touch themselves all over as they play with themselves (a lady’s breasts, especially around her nipples, are particularly effective). Encourage her to experiment and find which method suits her best.
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It may be awkward at first, but I guarantee that, when done right, you and your girl will be on the way to a much more fulfilling relationship than ever before! I’m open for private consultations if you need me. Confidentiality guaranteed! 😛